Stories

Stories >> Stories home >> A crush that destroyed

A crush that destroyed

Josie inspired a love which was to turn lethal...


Published by: Jessica Gibb
Published on: 14 June 2012

As I watched my daughter Josie, 18, laughing and joking with her friends, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Surrounded by her family and friends at a party to celebrate her graduation from high school, she finally looked happy and comfortable in her new life. She'd come so far since we moved back to America from Japan a year ago.
The six years we'd spent there while my husband Ronney, 39, was stationed with the marines had flown by. Along with our other children Jessica, 17, and Ronney, six, who's autistic, we'd decided to move back home to Oklahoma. It meant the girls could go to college in America.
Josie had taken it the hardest. She loved Japanese culture, and was fluent in the language.
So when we'd first come to America, she'd been like a fish out of water. Couldn't believe the size of the shopping malls - or portions of food! It seemed everything was super-sized compared to our quiet, peaceful life in Japan.
But there was one thing that stayed the same - her relationship with Jessica. My two daughters were like chalk and cheese. Josie was girlie and pink, while Jessica was more of a tomboy. But they were inseparable.
They'd even stay up late together watching scary movies before Josie would climb into Jessica's bed to sleep.
So I wasn't surprised now when her sister gave her a thoughtful present. ‘Hello Kitty!' Josie gasped, ripping at the wrapping to reveal a plush doll.
‘To go with your hundreds of others,' Jessica teased.
A couple of hours later, the party was in full swing as Josie brought a new friend over for me to meet.
‘Mum, you have to meet Raymond McMasters,' she said, pulling a shy boy forward. ‘He was in Japan the same time as us.'
‘Hello, Mrs Herrera,' he said quietly.
‘He hasn't been in America long,' Josie nodded.
She knew what it was like to feel shy and out of place. I was proud of her for taking him under her wing. I wasn't surprised when he left the party after about half an hour, but it was nice of him to show his face.
She explained his family were in California and nobody had been able to come to his graduation. She'd felt bad for him and invited him over to the house.
But a few weeks later, Josie confided in me. ‘I think Raymond has a crush on me,' she said.
‘Do you like him?' I asked.
‘Not like that! Only as a friend.' Determined to prove her point, she was careful to treat him exactly the same as always when she was hanging out with him in a group of friends, or talking on Facebook.
When she started dating a guy called Daniel that summer, he definitely must have got the message. It was great seeing her so happy - she'd really carved out a life for herself and settled in nicely.
But even though she was busy, she always made time for her sister. ‘We've made a pact,' announced Josie. Jessica nodded beside her. ‘Instead of going away to college, I'll stay at home and attend the local college for the first year.'
‘Then, when I graduate from high school,' Jessica butted in, ‘we'll both go to college in Texas and dorm together!'
They both looked so excited. ‘Sounds perfect!' I smiled. Bless her, I knew Josie wanted to stay close to all of us. She was such a home body.
Even when she started at the local college, she'd text me to say she was on her way home for dinner, or if she'd be a little late.
One Tuesday afternoon, she had spare time between lectures, so we met for lunch and went shopping. That evening after dinner, she offered to clear the dishes, while Jessica stayed on the sofa, watching telly.
Suddenly, Love Story by Taylor Swift came on the radio in the kitchen. ‘I love this song!' Josie squealed, cranking up the volume up.
‘Turn that down!' Jessica called. But her sister ignored her, singing along at the top of her voice, to wind her up. Jessica turned the TV volume up louder... It was a real battle, while me and their dad just sat between them giggling.
Josie grabbed her brother's hands and danced him around the kitchen to his delight. None of us could stop laughing now. I can't think of a moment when I was happier.
In two days time, we were going to a cousin's wedding in Texas. So the next day, although I'd arranged to meet Josie for lunch again, I had to cancel. Can't make lunch, too much stuff to do. When you get home, you need to pack! I text her.
Okay, I'm going to go to lunch with Ray, she replied.
Later on, my phone went off again. Hi Mum, I passed my English exam, she text.
Great! But later that evening, as I made enchiladas for dinner, I realised Josie hadn't come home yet. I put her plate in the oven and checked my phone.
There was no text from her. Josie, are you on your way home? I text.
Me and Ronney sat down to dinner when my husband got home from work around six. ‘Where are the girls?' he asked.
‘Jessica's at work,' I said. ‘I don't know where Josie is, she hasn't come home from class.'
‘Well, call her,' he suggested. It went straight to voicemail. ‘That's odd,' he said.
‘She must have seen someone she knows and got distracted,' I decided. ‘Maybe she didn't charge her phone, or she's talking to her professor?'
Still, I sent another text. Hi I'm getting worried, where are you? Let me know you're okay.
When no reply came, I called Jessica, all the time swallowing down the rising fear. ‘Have you heard from Josie?' I asked.
‘No, not since this morning,' she said.
‘Okay, don't worry,' I breezed. Did my chirpiness sound as fake to her ears as it did to mine?
Just an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Two men... as they showed me their police badges, I was gripped with fear. ‘There must have been a car accident!' I thought. A picture of my daughter lying in a hospital bed flashed across my mind, and my chest tightened.
‘Do you know a Josephine Herrara?' asked one detective.
‘She's my daughter,'
I panicked.
‘Can we come in?' he asked, stepping into the living room.
My husband came in, and the detectives started asking us about Josie. ‘Stop asking me questions,' Ronney snapped. ‘Tell me, where is my daughter?'
‘I'm so sorry,' one officer replied. ‘Josie has been found dead, and Raymond McMasters has been taken to hospital. We are trying to find out what happened.'
‘No, no, no!' he screamed. ‘Not Josie, not Josie!'
I went into shock. It seemed like I'd come out of my body and was watching this happen on some TV show. They showed us pictures of Josie's lifeless face. Her flash of brunette hair and pretty mouth were unmistakeable.
But I couldn't accept the truth. ‘That's not my Josie,' I insisted over and over again.
Finally, the news sunk in and I thought of Jessica. My heart broke all over again. How could I explain her big sister was dead?
She was still at work, so I got my neighbour to drive me there, while Ronney stayed at home with the police. When I walked into the fast-food restaurant where she worked, I noticed the fear in her eyes. She'd seen something terrible in my face.
‘Come on, Jess, get in the car,' I said quietly.
‘No, where's Josie?' she said, panic spreading across her face. She followed me outside, still in her apron.
‘Get in the car, we're going to take you home,' I said.
‘What happened to my sister?!' she yelled, backing away from me.
‘She... she's...' I stuttered. I couldn't tell her, not like this, not in a car park. But still the words tumbled out. ‘S-she's dead.'
Her face crumpled and tears gushed down her cheeks. Quiet as a lamb now, she got into the car and lay her head on my chest as we drove home.
Neither of us could speak. There was only one thing to say. Why had this happened to our beautiful Josie?
That night, police told us how she and Raymond had gone back to his house after lunch, then a man had broken in and attacked them both. By the time police had arrived, my lovely girl had bled to death from a stab wound to the neck. Raymond was being treated in hospital for the slash across his neck.
He'd been so lucky - far luckier than Josie. To think her life had been snuffed out by a total stranger. It was evil, callous. My head was spinning and I found it hard to focus.
But I could hear my husband asking the detectives more questions. ‘Where were his wounds?' he said. ‘Could they have been self-inflicted?'
‘We can't give you any more information just yet,' the detective said.
What was Ronney on about? Through the foggy haze of my grief, I couldn't understand. Then, suddenly, it clicked - he thought Raymond was lying about what happened.
No, it couldn't be. He was Josie's friend!
Three agonising days of grief, anger, and bewilderment followed. Then the police called us with news.
Raymond had been arrested, and he'd confessed to killing my daughter. ‘I just knew it,' Ronney fumed bitterly.
He was only a kid - surely he couldn't be a vicious killer? But it was true. He'd told Josie he was in love with her that day. She'd turned him down and started crying - possibly because he had got angry and upset. That's when he'd punched her repeatedly, then stabbed her in the neck with the knife.
That wasn't the worst of it, though...
‘It seems he tried to clean up the crime scene and cover his tracks,' explained an officer. ‘But then he realised it was going to be impossible. So he came up with the intruder lie, and stabbed himself to make it look like a break-in.'
The news was devastating. ‘So th-this wasn't a random attack?' I gasped, trying to get my head around it. ‘Are you saying our daughter was killed by someone she trusted. Someone she was trying to help...'
And... oh God... if I'd met her for lunch that day she might still be alive...
The guilt was overwhelming. When I visited her at the funeral home, she was dressed in the polo neck jumper and diamond earrings I'd brought for her. I took out her favourite Hello Kitty stuffed toy - the one from her sister - and tucked it in next to her. ‘Goodnight angel,' I whispered, kissing her cheek. ‘I'm sorry.'
That memory is pin sharp. But her funeral? I couldn't remember it, blanked it out altogether.
Seven months dragged by in that bubble of grief, denial, anger, confusion... Then Raymond McMasters was sentenced to life for first-degree murder. In court, I glared at the 18-year-old boy, trying to see if there were any signs of remorse.
He looked relaxed. I didn't even see a flicker of emotion when the judge told him he wouldn't be eligible for parole until 38 years had passed.
Although my whole world had been ripped to shreds, my daughter's death just didn't seem like a big deal to him.
Even now, a year later, I ask myself, what did I miss that day of the graduation party? He just seemed like a normal guy, not a monster capable of killing.
Every now and then, I open the freezer and see the plate of enchiladas still waiting for Josie to eat when she gets home. You see, after that day I couldn't throw them away. Putting that plate aside was the last thing I ever did for her. I think some part of me still hopes she'll breeze through the door and look for her leftovers.
Her death doesn't make any sense. She was killed because of a silly teenage crush. Now the people she really loved have lost her forever.

Rae Herrera, 39, Norman, Oklahoma