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Life's no drag!

Being a quitter transformed my life!


Published by: Jemma Gillard
Published on: 15 March 2012

No matter how much I tossed and turned in bed, I just couldn't relax. Finally, I threw back the duvet and crept into the kitchen. I grabbed my packet of ciggies, and sparked up.
Instantly, I relaxed as smoke from my 15th fag of the day filled my lungs. ‘That's better,' I murmured.
Afterwards, on my way back to bed, I peeked into my five-year-old daughter Renee's room. Bless her, she looked so innocent.
Then guilt hit me as I realised - there was one thing troubling her... Me.
Only that morning she'd begged me to quit. ‘Mummy, you'll die if you smoke,' she'd whimpered, watching me take a drag.
‘I'm not going to die,' I'd smiled. But as I'd tried to give her a hug, she'd squirmed and starting coughing. She didn't like the smell of smoke.
It broke my heart knowing my daughter didn't even want to touch me. I just wasn't strong enough to quit fags, though.
I'd been smoking since I was 13, had wanted to be just like my mum Beverley, now 59, who'd smoked up to 20 a day.
The next day, I met my mate Serena, 34, for a cuppa. ‘Renee's scared I'm going to die from smoking,' I sighed.
‘Well, give up!' she said.
‘I couldn't even give up when I was pregnant with her,' I croaked. I'd resigned myself to failure, so didn't even try. For two years, I carried on regardless, puffing away.
Then, when Renee was seven, she learnt about the dangers of smoking at school, and came home armed with leaflets.
‘I'm worried you're going to end up ill from smoking,' she whispered. ‘I don't want to lose you.'
My heart broke for her, and I knew I'd put it off long enough. I found a stop smoking service near to me, and went that day.
When I arrived, I sparked up a cigarette. ‘My final one,' I vowed. ‘I want Renee to be proud of me.'
Inside, I met with my adviser Christianna, who said: ‘Take it one day at a time and use these patches and gum to help you stop.'
Even with them, it was hard to quit. I was so moody, with bad cravings. Maybe I should give in?
‘You're doing well, Mummy,' Renee smiled, hugging me. ‘You smell lovely, too!' Her proud grin gave me strength.
Weekly meetings with Christianna helped as well. Five months later, I was still smoke-free! ‘Have you ever thought about becoming an adviser yourself?' she asked me.
‘That's a brilliant idea!' I grinned. So I left my admin job, and NHS City and Hackney sponsored me to complete my training. I've now been off the ciggies for three years - and I'm so glad my good intentions didn't go up in smoke.

· No Smoking Day is on March 14.
For details on quitting smoking, visit www.taketheleap.co.uk


Andreena Bogle-Walton, 30, Hackney, East London